Apparently I speak French like a Spanish cow

I’m not that comfortable in French, but I’m told that I speak it “well, for an American.”  It turns out that this means that I speak French about as well as a Spanish cow.  This is the expression for speaking French poorly: parler français comme une vache espagnole, or “to speak French like a Spanish cow.”  I can’t really think of a clever English-language equivalent.

It turns out that if you do a search on vache espagnole (Spanish cow) on Google Images, you find quite a bit of stuff.  I’ve posted some of the better pictures here.