Use an emoji, go to jail: semantics versus semiotics

If you send someone a pistol emoji, does that mean that you’re threatening them? It depends: what is “meaning,” and how can an emoji have it?

I was sitting in on a class on lexical semantics a couple years ago.  Lexical semantics is the study of the meanings of words.  What that means: think about the difference in meaning between The fairy godmother waved her baguette and The fairy godmother’s baguette waved her.  On some level, we can describe the difference in the meanings of those two sentences as coming from the facts that (a) an English sentence with a subject, a verb, and an object has the meaning that the subject did something to the object, and (b) the two sentences have different subjects and objects.  That’s not about lexical semantics, or the meanings of words–we could call that sentential semantics, perhaps.

In contrast with that, consider these sentences:

  1. Bobo swept the floor.
  2. Bobo swept.
  3. Bobo broke the glass.
  4. The glass broke.

In the case of sentence (2), Bobo did the sweeping.  In the case of sentence (4), though, the glass got broken.  To put it another way: in (2), the subject of the sentence carried out the action of the verb, while in (4), the subject of the sentence underwent the action of the verb.  This difference in meaning doesn’t have anything to do with the structures of the sentences, as was the case with the fairy godmother and her baguette–this is about the difference in meaning between sweep and break.  (For example: break involves a change in the state of something.  Sweep, in contrast, doesn’t.)  That’s lexical semantics–the study of the meaning of words.

So, back to that class: one of the folks in it started complaining about how deficient both of these approaches to thinking about semantics are.  Sure, we can formalize the meanings of words in a way that captures the differences in meaning between sweep and break.  We can formalize the meanings of sentences in a way that captures the differences in meaning between the two fairy godmother/baguette sentences.  But, what about the rest of the meaning?  How does the meaning of sweeping change, depending on whether Bobo is a property owner, or a member of the proletariat?   What does it mean that the fairy godmother is a godmother, and not a fairy godfather?  Indignation was widely shared.

Actually, this is a misunderstanding of what semantics is, versus semiotics.  Semantics is (in my version of the world) about how language means things.  Semiotics is about how meaning gets meant, in general.  If I say to you Bobo swept the floor, that’s got one kind of meaning.  If I give you a single red rose on our third date, that means something, too.  How does Bobo swept the floor mean what it means?  I can talk about that–we just did.  How does that single red rose on our third date mean what it means?  I don’t have a clue.  The meaning of the sentence: that’s semantics.  The meaning of the single red rose: that’s semiotics.  One way to think about why to study linguistics: suppose that you’re interested in the question of meaning.  You could think of language as the system of meanings that is the easiest to study.  So, if you’re into semiotics in general, then semantics might be a way to get a handle on what seems like a very large problem.  On that picture of the universe, semantics is a subset of semiotics.  (I don’t mean to imply that I think that we totally understand how meaning works in language, either–I don’t.  Indeed, we’ve had a number of posts on this blog about controversies and problems with representing the meanings of words.)

All of this came to mind recently when I came across a couple news stories on the use of emojis to convict people for various and sundry crimes.  (See below for a discussion of the differences/similarities between the English constructions a couple and a couple of.)  For those of you who have been in a digital wasteland for the past few years, here is a definition of emoji from Google:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 02.59.34
Picture source: screen shot of Google’s definition of “emoji.”

It is amazingly easy to find examples of the appearance of emoji in criminal cases.  I Googled this:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.04.55

…and got tons of results.  A 12-year-old girl in Virginia is facing charges of threatening a classmate for sending her this message on Instagram:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.05.53
Picture source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2016/02/27/a-12-year-old-girl-is-facing-criminal-charges-for-using-emoji-shes-not-alone/

Last year, a 17-year-old male was arrested and charged with making terroristic threats for posting these emojis of a police officer and some guns on Facebook (a grand jury later declined to indict him):

aristypost

Picture source: http://www.cnet.com/uk/news/teen-arrested-after-alleged-facebook-emoji-threats/

David Fuentes and Matthew Cowan of South Carolina were arrested and charged with stalking after they sent these emoji to someone whom they’d beaten up the month before:

ambulance emoji-2-e1457457813222
Picture source: http://crimefeed.com/2016/03/3-times-emojis-landed-people-behind-bars/

Smiley-faces show up repeatedly in court cases, both criminal and civil.  Anthony Elonis’s case went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.  A quote from an article by Karen Henry and Jason Henry on the Law360 web site:

The defendant in Elonis v. United States had argued that his conviction for posting threatening communications on Facebook should be reversed in part because the presence of emoticons in some of the posts made them “subject to misunderstandings” and not as threatening as they would otherwise have been. For example, one of the defendant’s posts said that his son should dress up as “matricide” on Halloween, perhaps by wearing a costume of her “head on a stick.” He followed that post with an emoticon of a face with its tongue sticking out. He argued that the emoticon signaled that he was joking…

In a civil lawsuit, Universal Music Corp. tried to argue that the person who was suing them hadn’t really been injured by them, presenting as evidence the claim that an emoji that she had used in an email in which she corresponded with a friend about the case showed that she didn’t really feel that she’d actually been injured (same source):

…the evidentiary value of emoticon/emoji evidence was examined fairly recently in Lenz v. Universal Music Corp. (widely referred to as “the Dancing Baby” case). In that case, plaintiff Stephanie Lenz moved for summary judgment on six affirmative defenses asserted by Universal in response to Lenz’s copyright claim. Of particular relevance, Universal argued Lenz alleged in bad faith that she had been “substantially and irreparably injured” by its takedown notice. To support this argument, Universal proffered an email exchange between Lenz and her friend. In that exchange, the friend writes, “love how you have been injured ‘substantially and irreparably’ ;-).” Lenz, in turn, responds, “I have ;-).”

Universal contended that Lenz’s use of the “winky” emoticon signified that she was “just kidding.” Lenz countered that her use of the “winky” emoticon replied to the “winky” in her friend’s email, which basically was teasing Lenz about using lawyerese in her complaint — i.e., “substantially and irreparably injured.” The court sided with Lenz, finding Universal’s proffered evidence insufficient to prove Lenz acted in bad faith and granting summary judgment in Lenz’s favor on that affirmative defense.

There are multiple legal issues involved in these emoji cases, some of them just really basic procedural stuff.  If you’re reading an email out loud in a court case, do you have to read any accompanying emojis out loud?  If so: how?  Back to the Elonis case in the Supreme Court–I’m going to add in a clause that I omitted in the earlier quote (same source again):

… one of the defendant’s posts said that his son should dress up as “matricide” on Halloween, perhaps by wearing a costume of her “head on a stick.” He followed that post with an emoticon of a face with its tongue sticking out. He argued that the emoticon signaled that he was joking, but his wife interpreted the tongue sticking out in that context as an insult.

This issue–read them out loud, or not, and if so, how–came up in a case that you may have read about–the “Silk Road” case against Ross Ulbricht for running a huge “dark Web” site for selling illegal stuff:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.32.40
Picture source: screen shot of http://www.law360.com/articles/727700/exhibit-a-winky-face-emoticon-evidence-enters-courts

I write about this here and now in part because there have recently been a couple of similar cases in France (see here for Bilal Azougagh’s case), and I suspect that the French courts will do a much better job of hashing out the theoretical issues behind this than the US courts have so far.  In reading about this issue in the US, I’ve come across “useful” observations like the claim that unlike words, emoji don’t have clear and unambiguous meanings–total linguistic bullshittery, as words don’t have clear and unambiguous meanings in any human language that I’m aware of.  These are difficult and (to me) interesting questions/problems, and I look forward to seeing the French legal system do a much better job of getting at the underlying philosophical issues than the American courts have so far, that being something that the French have much more of a propensity for (and much better educational preparation for) than Americans do.


French notes (scroll waaaay down for the English notes)

For some random Zipf’s-Law-induced vocabulary items, let’s look at the French Wikipedia page on emoji:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.46.33
Picture source: screen shot of https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoji

Vocabulary item: I’ve been trying to get straight on the many uses of the verb répandre, and here it is!  (See above about words not having clear and unambiguous meanings.)  Two of the many potential meanings of se répandre that are possibly relevant here (from WordReference.com):

  • se répandre (s’etendre) (sur?): to spread.
  • se répandre (envahir, se disséminer) (dans?): to spread out, to invade.

I’d also like to know the genders of emoji and émoticône.  Let’s see what evidence we can find:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.54.43
Picture source: screen shot of https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoji

Certains rather than certaines suggests that emoji is a masculine noun.  Emoticône is easier to figure out:

Screenshot 2016-07-06 03.56.53
Picture source: screen shot of https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89motic%C3%B4ne

Une, so: feminine noun.

Back to the lexical semantics lecture: I followed my classmate’s rant with my own, along the lines of the semantics/semiotics split that I talk about above.  The professor gave me an odd look when I suggested that it would mean something if I gave her a single red rose, but otherwise, there were no repercussions that I know of.  Watch this space for further developments.


English notes

I used the expression a couple a couple times in this blog post.  See these links for some discussions of the use of a couple versus a couple of:

It’s complicated–there are situations where either one is fine, and situations where only one of the two is fine.  Here is a little data.

A couple is mandatory:

  • I have a couple (fine)
  • I have a couple of (not OK at all)

A couple of is mandatory:

  • I have a couple them (not OK at all)
  • I have a couple of them (fine)

Either is fine (although I prefer a couple, personally):

  • I have a couple apples (fine)
  • I have a couple of apples (fine)

A couple of is mandatory:

  • I have a couple them (not OK at all)
  • I have a couple of them (fine)

How we’re sounding stupid today: synonyms

Synonyms are way more complicated than you might think.

For several years, my judo club in the States had a number of highly-ranked players on the junior national level.  The coaches decided to take them to Mexico to train at one of the national Olympic training centers, and they brought me along to interpret.  We spent a week at the training center in Guadalajara, and I interpreted for everything from practice sessions to our head coach explaining his philosophy of judo.

At the end of the week, we all piled into a bus and headed to Mexico City for the annual national tournament–a few of us grown-ups, our kids, and a lot of young Mexican children.

The bus ride was long, and going through the mountains, it was coooold.  As kids got cranky and the ride got miserable, I decided to kill two birds with one stone: distract the kids for a while, and take advantage of an opportunity to improve my Spanish.  I asked the busfull of kids what I sounded like when I spoke Spanish.  Could they imitate me?

I thought that I would learn something that I already knew–hilarious imitations of my aspirated voiceless stops, ludicrously elongated syllable nuclei, vocalic offglides, and the like. I figured that the kids would get a laugh out of it.  In fact, when you learn to do linguistic fieldwork on under-studied languages, you’re encouraged to go to adolescents for feedback–the idea is that teenagers being what they are, they might be less deferential than adults, and more willing to tell you the truth about how bad you sound.  No one was biting, though.

Finally, I managed to convince one of the older guys to speak up.  For once, the bus got quiet.  Well…you always say estoy contento (“I’m happy”) instead of  estoy feliz (also “I’m happy”). 

The kids roared–apparently, they had noticed.  They’re…you know…synonyms, he added apologetically.  Sometimes you use synonyms wrong.

Now other kids jumped in with poor synonym choices that I apparently made quite regularly.  Who knew??  It seemed to be the case that I made a lot of poor synonym choices, because this activity kept the kids in stitches for quite a while.  A bus-wide global meltdown was averted, and we reached Mexico City without any major traumas.

This story came back to me today while reading the comments on a blog post that I wrote the other day about faces.  A question came up: I gave the French words figure and visage for the English word “face,” but what about the French word face?

Simple answer: I didn’t know that the French word face meant “face.”  To my knowledge, I’ve only ever heard it in the expressions face à and faire face à.  My old nemesis: synonyms.

What is a synonym, though?  Here’s the definition from Merriam-Webster:

Screenshot 2016-06-17 06.50.30
Picture source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synonym

Linguists don’t typically like that definition of “synonym,” though.  Meaning is really, really hard to pin down (we’ve had a couple of posts on the difficulty of describing word meanings, looking at a number of options for doing so, none of which works out perfectly–see here for representing meanings with necessary and sufficient conditions, and here for representing meanings with prototypes).  We tend to use a definition more like this: two (or more) words are “synonyms” if they can freely replace each other in all contexts.  The idea would be that if you can say pail every place that you can say bucket, then they’re synonyms.  If you can’t, then they’re not.

The thing is this: on this “distributional” definition of the term “synonym,” there are almost no synonyms.  In American English, I can think of two pairs of synonyms:

  • pail/bucket
  • stone/pit (in the sense of the seed of a succulent fruit–a peach, or a plum, or an apricot)

Bullshit, you’re thinking–English is full of synonyms.  Good, virtuous, righteous, moral.  Bad, wicked, sinful, immoral.  If you look at data, though, you’ll soon see that there are almost no words in English that have this characteristic of being freely replaceable.  Rather, words that we think of as synonymous usually have subtle differences in how they’re used in the language.  In technical terms, they have different “distributions.”

Let’s take two words that I imagine every native speaker of American English would think of as synonymous: big, and large. 

All of the data on big and large in this post comes from Douglas Biber, Susan Conrad, and Randi Reppen’s 1998 book Investigating language structure and use, published by Cambridge University Press.  The graphics are from my lecture notes and are based on Biber, Conrad, and Reppen’s data.

There’s a nice collection of naturally-occurring English texts called the Longman-Lancaster Corpus.  It contains 5.7 million words from fiction and from academic prose.  If you count the number of occurrences of big, the number of occurrences of large, and then convert those counts to frequencies per million words, you get this:

big versus large
Picture source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synonym

What are we seeing here?  If we look at the combined texts, we see that large occurs more frequently than big, and that’s about it–not much of interest.

If we break out the two categories of texts, though–academic prose, and fiction–something jumps out at us.  The two words have very different distributions in academic prose and in fiction.  In academic prose, large is far more common than big.  On the other hand, in fiction, big is far more common than large.  What the hell?

Let’s look at the contexts that the words show up in.  We’ll separate out academic prose and fiction, and within those categories, we’ll separate out big and large.  For each one, we’ll show the most common words that appear to the right of the word in question.

Screenshot 2016-06-17 07.15.10
Picture source: me.

We’ll only show words that show up to the right of these words at least 1 million times.  In the academic prose, that only leaves two–remember how big the bar for large was compared to the tiny bar for big in the academic prose part of the graph above.  In fiction, we see both, although you’ll notice that the numbers for the words to the right of large in the fictional texts are much smaller than the numbers for the words to the right of large in the academic prose–large just doesn’t show up as often in the fictional texts.

Think about the two sets of words–the ones that show up after big, and the ones that show up after large–and you might notice something:

  • big tends to appear before physical objects.
  • large tends to appear before amounts and quantities.

How does that relate to the differences in the distributions of the two words across academic prose, and fiction?

  • Fiction contains lots of physical descriptions, which can refer to size (and therefore uses big)
  • Academic prose is more likely to use measurements to describe size (and therefore is less likely to use big)
  • Academic prose deals more with amounts and quantities (and therefore uses large)

I’ll try not to drone on and on with details, but the effect is quite robust.  It shows up at longer distances, such as when the words are separated by an adjective: big black eyes, big black saucepan, big black mongrel dog.  It shows up when the words follow the words that they modify: The cart was not really big enough…. The revolver, which looked big enough to…. The ratio is large enough, however…. …a finite number of steps (which may be large enough to…

The moral of the story: could you substitute big and large for each other?  You could–it’s not like it’s not interpretible if you say large revolver or big quantity.  You probably do produce things like that–I’m sure I do, too.  This stuff is probabilistic–it’s about frequencies, about what you do more often or less often, not about always or never.  But: if you sound like a native speaker, you mostly don’t just swap these two words in and out randomly.  The distributions are different: if you’re a native speaker, you don’t just substitute big and large for each other freely.  You use them differently, in ways that are so subtle that you’re almost certainly not aware of it.  (I sure as hell wasn’t before I read the book.  I’ll point out that I’ve given linguistics graduate students the homework assignment of finding differences in the use of big and large for maybe ten years, and in all of that time, exactly one student has come up with this.)

So: back to the three French words visage, figure, and face, all of which correspond to the English word “face.”  How the hell could I not know that face meant “face”?  Why have I only ever heard it in face à and faire face à?  And why can’t I figure out the difference between visage and figure?  Let’s look at some data.

I went to the Sketch Engine web site.  This gives me access to a bunch of big collections of texts in an astounding variety of languages, and a tool for searching those collections.  The tool will also do analyses of statistical data–what other words a word tends to occur with in those text collections, what verbs it tends to be the subject and the object of (if it’s a noun), what nouns it tends to have as its subjects and objects (if it’s a verb), and so on.

I picked a corpus (collection of linguistic data) called frTenTen, just because it’s big–9.9 billion words.  For each word–visage, figure, and face–I got an analysis of the words that it tends to occur with, and the structures that it tends to occur in–what verbs it tends to be the subject and object of, which prepositions it tends to modify and to be modified by, and so on.  You can see screen shots of the three analyses below.

The first thing that we see is that the frequencies of the three words are different, and face is actually the most common.  In 9.9 billion words of French text, this is how often they show up:

  • visage: 115 times per million words
  • figure: 48 million times per million words
  • face: 258 times per million words

Seriously?  How did I miss face, when it shows up more than twice as often as visage, which shows up more than twice as often as figure?  If we look closely at how these words tend to combine with other words and structures, it starts to make sense.  In what follows, I’m going to focus on two things: (1) the kinds of words that modify the word that we’re talking about, and (2) the kind of words that it gets coordinated with–in other words, what kinds of words show up on the other side of the word “and” or the word “or” with the word in question.

We’ll start with le visage.  To begin with, let’s look at the words that modify it.  Visage is a noun, so these are probably going to be adjectives.  Why do I care about the words that modify it?  Because different kinds of things tend to get modified with different kinds of words.  Kittens are cuddly, warm, and cute.  Sharks are hungry, vicious, and deadly.  Knowing something about the kinds of words that modify something tells you something about how the people who speak a language think about that thing.
So, the words that modify visage: look at the box to the left in the figure below, labeled modifier.  Here are the words that we see most frequently modifying visage in that 9.9-billion-word sample:

Screenshot 2016-06-17 02.55.46
“Word sketch” of the French noun “visage.” Picture source: me.

Definitions from WordReference.com:

  • pâle:
  • impassible: impassive, calm, emotionless, and many related words
  • angélique: angelic
  • familier: familiar
  • souriant: smiling, cheerful, happy
  • ovale: oval
  • fin: in ths context: small or thin, according to what I found on Linguee.fr.

The generalization that I would suggest here is that these are all words that you would not be surprised to see being used to describe a human face.

Now let’s look at the words that most frequently show up with visage on the other side of the words “and” or “or.”  I care about this because words are often combined by and or or with similar categories of words.  For example, nouns tend to get joined with other nouns, verbs with other verbs, etc.  This time we’ll look at the fourth box from the left, labelled et_ou.  Let’s see if that suggests anything to us about how to understand visage:

  • cou: neck
  • corps: body
  • cheveu: hair (this probably shows up as cheveu rather than cheveux because Sketch Engine oftend does something called “lemmatization:” converting all forms of a word into what you might think of as their “basic” form–in the case of nouns, the singular form)
  • silhouette: profile, shape, contour
  • oeil: eye
  • lèvre: lip
  • sourire: smile

The generalization that I would suggest here is that these are mostly body parts.  Not surprising, if visage is a body part.

Now let’s look at the word that I’m struggling with–la face.  Here are the statistics:

Screenshot 2016-06-17 02.53.23
“Word sketch” of the no: northun “face” in French. Picture source: me.

Once again, let’s look at the most frequent modifiers.  Here’s what we get:

  • nord: north
  • arrière: rear
  • visible: visible
  • postérieur: back, posterior
  • ventral: ventral (this word refers to the side that your stomach is on.  To see why this is a useful word from an anatomical point of view, think about a person, and a fish.  On a person, the belly is to the front, while on a fish, the belly is on the bottom.  Using the word ventral lets you refer to the side that the stomach is on, regardless of the orientation of that side (forward, or down).
  • sud: south
  • latéral: lateral (side)

Here are some uses of ventral (and its opposite, dorsal)–scroll down past them to continue reading:

A totally different set of modifiers from visage!  These sound a lot more like words that word describe one of the several faces of a mountain, or of a building.  When we look for the words that face occurs with in coordinations with et or ou, we find:

  • pile: In pile ou face, it’s “heads or tails.”
  • profil: profile.
  • dos: back
  • cou: neck
  • arête: bridge (of nose)
  • soir: evening
  • samedi: Saturday
  • finale: final

Some of those are consistent with the interpretation of face as a body part–profile, back, necks, bridge of the nose.  The others aren’t.

When we look at the “word sketch” for figure, there’s very little that suggests that the word is used as a body part–at any rate, not as often as it’s used for other meanings:

Screenshot 2016-06-17 02.57.10
“Word sketch” of the French noun “figure.” Picture source: me.

So, what insight does this give us?  For one thing: it’s not surprising that I haven’t come across face with the meaning “face (of a person).”  Rather, it seems to be used more often for the “faces” of objects–buildings, mountains, computers, etc.  For another thing: it’s surprising that I’ve come across figure with the meaning “face” at all, since it doesn’t seem to be used for that as often as it’s used with other meanings.  Finally, the major point: it’s hard to see any of these as synonyms for the others, as the patterns of usage are quite different.  On the definition of “synonym” as “word that is freely replaceable for another word,” these aren’t.

Having said all of this: I don’t mean to imply that synonymy is not a useful concept.  In fact, there’s an enormously useful resource called WordNet that is organized completely around the notion of synonymy.  WordNet encodes relationships between words.  But, what’s the definition of word?  For WordNet, it’s what they call a “synset:” not a single word, but the full set of synonyms for that word.  Synsets are the basic unit of WordNet–this whole (very useful, as I said) resource is organized as relationships between them.

The kids did great at the tournament.  As Jigoro Kano, the founder of judo, would have put it: the ones who won got positive feedback on their training, and the ones who lost got valuable insight into the things that they needed to work on.  I got off the plane in the US a couple days later with my boots coated with dust from an Aztec temple, and thought a lot about how small the world is these days.

Paris is not all avant-garde theater and haute couture, but it charms me nonetheless

Music, the junkie across the street, and the Cratylus.

heroin_booklet_fr
“The truth about heroin.” Let me just point out (a) how cool it is that “heroïne” is spelt with a tréma (umlaut), and (b) that if you search Google Images for accro paris (junkie Paris), you would not believe how many pictures of Paris Hilton you find. Picture source: http://fr.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts.html

It’s on evenings like this that I especially appreciate summertime in Paris.  The Euro 2016 is in full swing, and the streets of my neighborhood are full of little crowds of soccer fans wearing the jerseys of their team and chanting and singing in the language of whatever country they happen to be from.  Weaving in and out of them are women in cute dresses and impressive heels–not unusual here, but especially salient to me today due to their contrast with the junkie nodding off in a doorway across the street, who I would guess couldn’t tell you what she’s wearing or, indeed, what feet are for.

Fete-de-la-musique-par-Nicolas-Vigier-domaine-public_seve-illustration-article
Fête de la musique. Photograph by Nicolas Vigier, en domaine public sur Flickr.

It’s also June 21st, the summer solstice and the day of the Fête de la musique, the annual festival that is marked by musical happenings large and small all over France.  Standing on my balcony (don’t get excited, it’s about the size of a phone booth and occasionally splattered with bird shit), I can hear a guy playing the guitar and singing in front of a set of speakers that are much, much bigger than his limited skills merit.  In other neighborhoods you might hear a local choir singing on a street corner, or a full brass section in a park, or whatever.  It’s totally cool.

Screenshot 2016-06-21 14.06.56
Russian soccer hooligan association president Alexander Shprygin gets thrown out of France, two days later tweets a picture of himself at a match in Toulouse, and lands in jail this time. Picture source: Twitter.

Of course, with crowds come assholes.  I took a break from memorizing vocabulary about semantics and knowledge representation to take a walk by the Eiffel Tower just now, and saw seven guys running the ball-and-cup scam (the norm would be zero to one), including one guy who was speaking Russian (there are tons of them in town–the president of the Russian soccer hooligan association was escorted onto a plane and out of the country by the French police a couple days ago; today he tweeted a picture of himself in a stadium in Toulouse, having taken advantage of the Schengen Agreement to get back into France, and is now sitting in a jail cell) and one guy who, by his accent, his enthusiasm, and his backwards ball cap, seemed pretty clearly to be an American.  It is, after all, entre chien et loup at the moment, I guess–dusk, when dogs go home and the wolves come out.  Back to my apartment to memorize vocabulary and feel grateful that if Europe has to end, I had the good fortune to see a bit of what the glory was like first.

  • le shit: hash, pot. Probably not what the junkie across the street has been doing today.
  • l’essentialisme: essentialism.  Easy enough to spell, but I have no clue how to pronounce it–seems like there oughta be some accents in there somewhere.  This is the idea that language is the way it is because it reflects something real about the world–Cratylus’s position in Plato’s Cratylean dialogues.
  • l’arbitraire (n.m.): arbitrariness.  This is the idea that language is the way it is purely as a matter of social convention and chance–Hermogenes’s position in the same.
  • le normativisme: the attitude that language is something to be regulated by fiat.

 

The modern human face

Anatomically modern humans have a facial structure that is different from our evolutionary predecessors and close relatives. Here’s how to recognize it.

I’ve occasionally read that Neanderthals were so similar to modern humans that you wouldn’t notice one if you walked by them on the street.  This is probably not true.  Leaving aside the question of whether people who write things like that know anything about what I, personally, am and am not likely to notice, anatomically modern humans have quite different facial structures from anything else out there today, and also from any of our hominid relatives.  That includes Neanderthals.

In recent posts, we’ve talked about three unique features of the anatomically modern human face:

If you’re not sure about what any of those mean and you want to know, follow the links, which will take you to illustrated posts on each of those individual features.

The tendency to notice faces, and the ability to read facial expressions, seem to be very important in humans, based on things like the sophistication of the musculature that we have for controlling facial expressions, the amount of the motor nervous system that is developed to controlling those muscles, and the skill that most humans have in recognizing facial expressions of emotion.  For an accessible discussion of the psychology and biology of all of this, see this Wikipedia page.  Chimpanzees are lousy at recognizing human facial expressions–dogs can be pretty good at it, though.  (There’s a lot of variation here, so don’t get pissed at your dog if he doesn’t seem to be up to the task.  He undoubtedly has other charms.  Another cool thing that dogs can learn to do, but chimpanzees can’t: understand that when you point in a direction, they should look that way.)

If you’ve read the preceding posts, and you can remember these three features–forehead, chin, and being located under the eyes–then I’m guessing that you can impress your kids the next time you go to the zoo/museum/catacombs by explaining what to notice about the faces of the skulls of the various and sundry critters that they’ll see.  Want to test yourself?  Here are some skulls to check out.  See if you can tell which are anatomically modern humans and which aren’t.  Answers at the bottom of the post, along with some French vocabulary for talking about faces.

Skull-bonesballotbox
#1

 

human and neanderthal Skulls-800x430
#2
human infant skull replica product-754-main-original-1415040576
#3
australopithecus skull Mrs_Ples.jpg
#4
Hominid_Skull-Chimpanzee_bottom-900
#5
bornean orangutan variants_large_3886
#6
human skull discolored clone s521972503441136676_p925_i1_w640.jpeg
#7

 

  1. Modern human.  This is the ballot box from Yale’s Cross and Bones society.  Picture source: http://www.thehistoryblog.com/archives/4503
  2. Modern human in the front, Neanderthal behind it.  Picture source: http://www.rawstory.com/2015/12/dramatic-wall-of-skulls-to-be-built-at-london-museum-to-illustrate-human-evolution/
  3. Modern human infant.  (Trick question.)  This is a reproduction of the skull of a deceased 4-month-old child.  Human infant skulls are similar to chimpanzee infant skulls in that they both have foreheads (which the chimp will lose as it ages), but note that the human infant’s face is located beneath the eyes.  Picture source: https://boneclones.com/category/child-skulls/human-anatomy#view=grid&category=76&page=1&pageSize=30
  4. Australopithecus.  No lower jaw, so you can’t look for a chin, but notice the lack of a forehead and the forward-protruding muzzle (i.e., the face is not located under the eyes).  Picture source: http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Australopithecus
  5. Chimpanzee–underside of skull.  You don’t have to look for a forehead or a chin to know that this wasn’t an anatomically modern human–the muzzle protrudes way out in front.  Picture source: http://www.dlt.ncssm.edu/tiger/360views/Hominid_Skull-Chimpanzee_1200x900/bottom.htm
  6. Bornean orangutan.  Picture source: http://www.skullsunlimited.com/record_species.php?id=1767
  7. Modern human.  (Replica.)  If you got this one wrong: maybe the discoloration threw you off?  It’s totally typical, though–forehead, face below the eyes, and a chin.  Picture source: http://www.boneroom.com/store/c115/Museum_Quality_Human_Skull_%26_Skeleton_Casts.html
  • la figure: face.
  • le visage: face. I think this might be a higher register of language than la figure–perhaps more literary?  Not sure.  Here’s a link to the Noir Désir song Des visages des figures, just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW533pwLMv0.
  • le sourcil: eyebrow.  The l at the end is silent, unlike most word-final l‘s.
  • le cil: eyelash.  This l is pronounced.
  • la joue: cheek.
  • un œil: eye.  Pronunction: [œj].  That is: the L is silent.  Follow the link to the Lawless French web site if you want to hear a recording of the proper pronunciation.  (I threw this one in despite the fact that we all probably know it because I was recently in a French theater class, and I noticed that NONE of the students (including me) was sure how to pronounce it when it would come up in a play, despite the fact that we all had good enough handles on French to talk about Molière in it.  Like I always say–it’s the little things that get you…)
  • les pattes: sideburns.
  • la barbe: beard.
  • barbe-à-papa: cotton candy.
  • la gueule: mouth.  Ta gueule!  Shut up!
  • être très physionomiste: to have a good memory for faces
  • le/la physionomiste: bouncer

 

 

 

 

 

Compound nouns: why my kid said friendgirl instead of girlfriend

The errors of a child learning their native language can be tremendously interesting.

french knife vocabulary 09c37ab6157f4e281abd6477065caf2fWhen my kid was about four years old, he went through a period where he switched the orders of certain kinds of words.  It wasn’t random–this happened only with a particular kind of word formed by putting two nouns together.  For example, he would say:

  • light kitchen instead of “kitchen light”
  • friendgirl instead of “girlfriend”

On the other hand, if there were a noun preceded by an adjective, he got the order right:

  • big kitchen
  • mean girl

The phenomenon has some implications for theories of how children learn language.  In particular, it’s difficult to give a simple behaviorist explanation for this phenomenon, where the kid gets exposed to stimuli, repeats them, and gets reinforced for producing them correctly: to my knowledge, the kid was never exposed to things like friendgirl.  There are also interesting things about his pronunciation of these things on a smaller scale, though, and in particular, how we make compounds–read on, if you want to know more.

One of the most difficult problems in getting a computer to understand language is understanding compound nouns.  These are nouns that are made up of two or more words in a sequence.  The toughest ones can be compounds where the words that make up the compound are both nouns. For example, in English:

  • school bus
  • kitchen cupboard
  • fire engine

I’ve given you examples where the two nouns are written with a space between them, but they might also be spelt with a hyphen, or without a space.  For example:

  • gunboat (no space)
  • timesheet (no space)
  • rainbow (no space)
  • gun-carriage (hyphen)
  • train-spotting (hyphen, and yes, you are allowed to argue about whether or not spotting is a noun)

From a theoretical perspective, there isn’t a distinction between these–they’re all compound nouns.  From the point of view of writing a computer program that deals with language, we would tend to treat the ones that are written with a hyphen or with no space as single words that don’t necessarily get analyzed further, but the ones written with a space usually need special treatment.  (In fact, amongst people who do natural language processing, there’s a whole field of research concerning what are called multi-word expressions. 

From both a theoretical and a practical perspective, the big question about compound nouns is: how can you describe, understand, and get a computer to deal with the different kinds of relationships that can exist between the nouns?  It’s not a random thing–languages tend to exploit particular kinds of relationships in compounds.  Even describing these things from the perspective of theoretical linguistics is tough, though, separately from the practical problem of getting a computer program to process them.  A classic English example (due, I believe, to the recently departed linguist Chuck Fillmore) is the names for different kinds of knives in English.

  • bread knife: a knife for cutting bread
  • butter knife: a knife for spreading butter
  • pocket knife: a knife that is carried in a pocket
  • butcher knife: a knife that is used by a butcher
  • palette knife: a knife that is shaped like a palette
  • utility knife: a knife that is used in food preparation
  • paring knife: a knife that is used for paring
  • steak knife: a knife that is used for cutting steak
  • boning knife: a knife that is used to trim meat from a bone
  • boot knife: a knife that’s meant to be carried on or in a boot

Just with this partial list, we can see some patterns of semantic relationships between the nouns in the compound:

intended material bread knife, butter knife, steak knife
used by butcher knife
used for paring knife,  boning knife
carried in pocket knife, boot knife
 shaped as  palette knife
dog bones 1003118_10201602413728925_39172732_n
Dog bones at a Hungarian butcher shop in Cleveland, Ohio. Picture source: me.

How should we classify utility knife?  Or dog bone?  I don’t know.  As I said, this is difficult–it’s not like this is something that they teach you in linguistics grad school.  And, do you get to just make these kinds of relationships up on an ad hoc basis?  If so, you’ve got descriptions that couldn’t possibly be shown to be wrong, and from a scientific point of view, that’s bad–your theories need to be testable, and falsifiable.  (Generally we assume that we can’t prove anything, but we do try to construct theories in such a way that if they’re wrong, in principle we should be able to demonstrate that.)  Some people have proposed limited sets of relationships that they hope can capture all such compound nouns–for example, the Generative Lexicon theory of James Pustejovsky.  It’s not clear that all of the issues that are involved in this are resolved, though.

Rather than this kind of noun-noun compound, French generally has nouns modified by prepositional phrases.  That is, you have the noun, then a preposition, and then another noun.  For example, compare these English and French nouns:

railroad (rail + road) chemin de fer
windmill moulin à vent
wine glass verre à vin
goods transport transport de marchandises
shaped as palette knife

For more examples, see the picture in this post, which shows the vocabulary for a variety of kinds of knives in French.

It’s not the case that all French nouns of this sort follow the prepositional phrase pattern–for example, we have homme grenouille, “frogman.”  But, the pattern with the prepositional phrase is much more common. Having said that: one of the biggest mysteries of French for me is how you know when the preposition will be de versus à.  Is there some principle that would let me know that it’s a boîte à gants (glovebox) and a cuillere à café (coffee spoon), but a animal de compagnie (pet) and a crème de cacao?  A boîte à bijoux (jewelry box), but a boîte d’allumettes (matchbox)?  A boîte à chaussures (shoebox), but a boîte de nuit (nightclub)?  I have no clue.

Some details of compound nouns in English: the pronunciation of these things is different from phrases with adjectives.  In general, in a compound noun, you’ll have the stress on the first noun, e.g.:

  • chef’s knife is pronounced CHEF’S knife, while David’s knife would usually be pronounced equal stress on both words.
  • coffee spoon is pronounced COFFEE spoon, while yellow spoon would be pronounced with stress on both words.
  •   beat box is pronounced BEAT box, while big box would be pronounced with stress on both words.

Some details of compound nouns in French: I have no clue how to pluralize these things, and I’m not sure that all French people do, either.  Here’s what the Wikipedia page on French compound nouns has to say on the topic.  It breaks the compounds down to what they’re made up of: a noun plus a  noun, a verb plus a noun, a noun plus a verb, etc.:

  • noun + noun: pluralize both.  Example: oiseau-mouche, oiseaux-mouches (hummingbird).  Exception: I don’t understand the Wikipedia explanation for this, but sometimes you only pluralize the first noun: des chefs-d’œuvre (masterpiece), des arcs-en-ciel (rainbox).
  • verb + noun: plural only at the end.  Example: cure-dent, cure-dents.  Exception: I don’t understand the Wikipedia explanation for this, either, but sometimes you don’t mark the plural at all: des chasse-neige (snowplow) (= chasser la neige, devenu variable dans l’orthographe de 1990), des trompe-l’œil… (direct quote from Wikipedia)
  • adjective + noun: pluralize both.  Example: la basse-cour, des basses-cours (farmyard; chickens and rabbits; outer courtyard).
  • verb + verb: don’t mark the plural at all.  Example: des garde-manger (pantry).

If you’d like to know more about the Generative Lexicon theory and how it accounts for these kinds of relationships between nouns, but don’t feel like you want to tackle the primary sources (I have a PhD in linguistics and I’ve never been able to finish working my way through the last chapter), there’s a book called Generative Lexicon theory: A guide, by James Pustejovsky and Elisabetta Jezek, coming out. For a detailed discussion of relationships in this kind of noun in French and Italian, see this paper by Pierrette Bouillon, Elisabetta Jezek, Chiara Melloni, and Aurélie Picton. (I got some of the examples in this post from there.)

So, back to my poor kid: why friendgirl and light kitchen, but mean girl and big kitchenHe seems to have come up with some conception of there being a difference between the compound nouns and a sequence of an adjective and a noun.  Remember that he was maybe 4 years old, so no one taught him this.  As is characteristic of kids learning their native language(s), he came up with a hypothesis about how to produce the difference between these things, and what he came up with was an ordering difference for the compound nouns.  So: don’t freak out if your kid comes up with some weird things in the language department, and be aware that it’s mostly not trying to correct them–it’s not like they’re consciously aware of these “rules,” and nothing that you can say to them is going to change them.  However: they’ll figure it out.  Keep Calm And Keep Talking.

Some French vocabulary on the topic:

  • le mot composé: compound word

The Paris hustling ecosystem: the good side

There are plenty of people whose life in Paris consists of working their butts off selling the little trinkets that you’ll bring home as souvenirs or use to make your vacation more pleasant. Here’s the kind of stuff they do.

Just as Paris has a begging ecosystem and an ecosystem of hustling (in the bad sense of that word), it also has an ecosystem of hustling in the good sense of that word.  (See here for an explanation of the two senses of hustle in English.)  The people who make their living in this system are almost entirely foreigners, as far as I can tell, and they are pretty much just out there working their asses off, in good weather and bad–earning a mostly honest living within the law, if just on the edges of it.

I say “just on the edges” because the only thing that anyone could complain about concerning these people is that they aren’t licensed.  I find it hard to see how anyone could complain about what they do, really–personally, I admire their hustle (in the good sense of that word), how hard they work.  And, since these people have their little niches in the ecosystem, it’s not like they’re taking away money that could have been earned by French citizens, either–these people are doing things that no one else does.

Of course you’ll see people doing this kind of hustling anywhere, and supporting the people who do work of this kind can be a good way to help support the local economy.  In fact, in some places, the beggars are so totally controlled by criminal gangs that take a large chunk out of their earnings that if you want to support the local poor people, it’s much better to buy stuff from the little old ladies who show up in the town squares with a few pieces of fruit that they picked in their back yard or buns that they baked at home that morning than to give money to people begging on the street.  The begging situation isn’t under that kind of criminal control in France (with the possible exception of the Roma women that you’ll see–Roma women are very often exploited as beggars in this way in Eastern Europe).

Having said that, some of these things are quite Parisian.  As we’ve so often seen to be the case, different ethnic groups have different niches, and different kinds of selling take place in different parts of the city.  Here’s a sketch of the sorts of (the good kind of) hustling folks that you’re almost certain to see in Paris.

Eiffel Tower sellers

African Eiffel Tower seller
Eiffel Tower seller–notice the hoop with all of the small towers hanging off of it. Picture source: http://www.ottsworld.com/blogs/will-the-real-eiffel-tower-please-stand-up/.

These guys are the most common sight in the Parisian hustling ecosystem (in the good sense of “hustling”).  What they do: they sell little replicas of the Eiffel Tower.

They mostly work the area of the Eiffel Tower–a little bit on the steps of Sacré Coeur, too, but it’s primarily an Eiffel Tower thing–not surprising, given that that’s mostly what they sell.  (A year or two ago, they started peddling selfie sticks, too.)  There are two kinds of these guys:

  1. Guys that walk around with big metal hoops full of Eiffel Towers.
  2. Guys with a square piece of cloth with a bunch of Eiffel Towers on it–they try to sell stuff to passers-by.

The Eiffel Towers come in a range of sizes.  The smallest ones are on little key rings, at 5 for 1 euro.  They get as big as maybe 8 inches–no clue what those cost.

eiffel tower sellers non-mobile
Guys selling Eiffel Tower replicas. The cloths have straps along two sides so that they can be quickly picked up and run off with, along with their contents, when the police come. Picture source: http://www.gettyimages.fr/detail/photo/france-paris-african-souvenir-vendor-under-the-eiffel-tower-photo/492707493.

The square pieces of cloth that the guys who aren’t walking with a ringful use have a standard construction.  They’re roughly a yard or a meter square.  They have a strip of cloth running down opposite sides of the cloth.  When the police come around, they pick the cloth up by those strips, the square of cloth becomes a sort of pouch, and they take off running.

Selling the little Eiffel Tower things is a West African monopoly, and again, you almost entirely see it around the Eiffel Tower and on the steps of Sacré Coeur.  Why West African?  This post on Quora by Jacob Hood might shed some light on the question.

Wine and beer sellers

Another thing that’s quite specific to the Eiffel Tower area is the South Asian guys selling bottles of wine and beer.  More precisely, these guys wander the Champ de Mars (the big grassy area to the south of the Tower).  They spend their entire day carrying a heavy bucket full of ice, beer, and bottles of wine and champagne.  I’ve heard that they will try to charge outrageous prices for their wares, and that makes them the only people on this page with whom I have any problems whatsoever.  I’ve also heard that they will give you a reasonable price if you haggle with them, though (although perhaps they won’t give it to you very graciously–remember, these guys are hauling those heavy buckets around all day long).  There’s a perfectly good wine store a couple blocks away on the Rue Cler, and I don’t know why anyone would buy their booze from a guy with a bunch of bottles in a bucket–but, hey, these guys gotta make a living, too.  (You can read an American expat’s story of haggling with one of the wine sellers here.)

This is a South Asian monopoly–Indian and Pakistani guys.  I’ve only ever seen it on the Champ de Mars.

I spent way too much time trying to find a picture of these guys on line, with no luck.  Yesterday I left work early enough to walk up to the Champ de Mars and take a picture of one myself (questionable legality, with Europe’s privacy laws), only to discover that the Champ de Mars is completely fenced in until mid-July due to the Euros 2016, and the majority of these guys have been displaced for a month or so.  If you happen to have a picture of a Champ de Mars wine seller that I could post here, it would be great.

Water sellers

Water sellers sell…bottles of water, of course!  You’ll see them around a lot of the touristy areas. As Phildange has pointed out:

The water sellers are a modern echo of the “porteurs d’eau” from the Ancient Regime. They did exactly the same job, selling water to the thirsty, but in a time when there were no taps anywhere, and fountains could be far away. Amazing how globalized economy makes society regress to XIXth ot XVIIIth centuries, and in many points.
In the kings’ times there was also a glamour function that has not been replicated yet: some guys carried portable latrines, with a big blanket for privacy and water for cleanliness . Fantastic job, isn’t it ?

Water is generally 1 euro a bottle if it’s not oppressively hot, and 2 euros a bottle if it is oppressively hot.  (Don’t hate them for this–you can go cool off in the shade any time you want, but those guys are going to be out in the sun all day.) Personally, I think these folks are doing a public service.  Could be anybody doing this, but it’s mostly a South Asian thing–Indian and Pakistani guys.

Rose sellers

You’ll have seen these guys in most of the tourist cities of Europe.  They show up on the patios of restaurants, and very occasionally inside.  They carry a bouquet of roses, and primarily approach tables with couples at them.  This is mostly a South Asian thing, again.

In case I haven’t made it clear: I admire these guys.  (They’re almost always men.)  They’re not begging, and they’re not ripping people off–they’re out there every day, working their asses off for what can’t be very much money.  Good for them, I say.

  • mars (n.m.): March.  Note: the s is pronounced.
  • Mars (n.m.): Mars, the god.  Reminder: the s is still pronounced.
  • Mars (n.f.): Mars, the planet.  Yes, the s is pronounced.  Yes, WordReference.com says that the planet is a masculine noun.  Yes, I checked with multiple native speakers, and it does appear to be feminine.

The Paris hustling ecosystem: the bad side

There are scammers all over the world, but there are some scams that are especially Parisian.

i-hustle-hard
The good meaning of hustle. Picture source: http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=177021&start=50.

The verb to hustle can have a couple different meanings in English, one of which is good, and one of which is bad.

  • The good meaning of hustle: behaving with what the Merriam-Webster dictionary calls “energetic activity.”  Someone who’s hustling in this sense is working hard; moving around a lot; expending a lot of effort, in a good way.  If you want to get into a good college, you’re going to have to hustle this year.  She really hustled, and she finished the program early.  Commonly said to athletes: Come on, get out there and show some hustle! 
  • The bad meaning of hustle: “to sell something to or obtain something from by energetic and especially underhanded activity…to lure less skillful players into competing against oneself at (a gambling game)” (Merriam-Webster dictionary again).  (“Underhanded” means through trickery or dishonesty.)  This is basically the same meaning as to con someone–to trick them out of money—and a hustle (it can be a noun, too) can also be known as a con, or a con game, or a confidence game (which is where the shorter name comes from).
    pool hustler
    A pool hustler is more or less the archetype of the hustler. Pool hustlers are excellent pool players. They trick people into betting with them by pretending to not be very good, and then reveal their true skill after the bets are laid. Picture source: http://bankingwiththebeard.com/?p=1425.

    You will find people running hustles (or cons) pretty much everywhere you go in the world, including places where there are no tourists–people try to hustle the locals, too. But, there are some hustles that are especially common in Paris, and some that I haven’t seen anywhere else.  Read on for descriptions of how they work.

     

The common Parisian hustles

There are some pretty common hustles in Paris, and you will probably see at least one of these if you go to any of the famous tourist sites (and you totally should–I firmly believe that everyone should do as many of the stereotypical Paris tourist things as they can, at least once).  Here are the things that you’re likely to see:

  • The ring hustle
  • The friendship bracelet
  • 3-card Monte, or whatever
  • The fake petition
  • The fake deaf/mute

What I find especially interesting about all of this is that there is a system in operation here–an ecosystem, if you will.  We saw in a previous post that there are specific kinds of beggars that do their thing in specific areas–the guys who make speeches on subways, the Roma ladies on the Champs Elysées, etc.  There’s a similar kind of system in effect with regard to hustles–different groups more or less own specific hustles, and specific hustles are associated with specific areas of Paris.  In addition, there are some common types of robbery: picking pockets, and snatch-and-runs. You can find countless web pages on the subject of how to avoid getting your pocket picked in Paris, and I won’t belabor the point. Of course, the vast majority of people will have no trouble with thieves at all (although I do have a friend who had his pocket picked twice during the same visit to our fair city–just rotten luck). The only thing that I would add to the bazillion web pages on not getting your pocket picked in Paris is this: don’t lay your cell phone on the table while you’re talking, or even while you’re reading emails or something–you should have it in your hands at all times, and if you’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk looking at it, you should have it tightly in your hands. Now that cell phones can be worth hundreds of dollars, picking them up off of a table on the patio outside of a cafe, or even snatching them out of someone’s hands, and running off is unfortunately a thing.

The ring hustle

british police woman with fake rings
British police officer with confiscated fake rings used in the ring scam.  They use identical rings in France. Picture source: http://content.met.police.uk/cs/Satellite?blobcol=urldata&blobheadername1=Content-Type&blobheadervalue1=image%2Fjpeg&blobkey=id&blobtable=MungoBlobs&blobwhere=1283551938574&ssbinary=true.

The basic principle of this is that you and someone else find a gold ring at that same time, and they try to convince you that you should give them money in exchange for “their share” of the ring.  The ring is a piece of crap.  I once had the same guy try this one on me twice within twenty minutes on the same bridge.  He tried it as I was crossing the bridge in one direction, and then again as I crossed back the other way–I think he might not have been very focussed that day.  How exactly you both happen to discover this thing at the same time can vary, and how exactly the person tries to talk you out of your money can vary, but the basic principle is the same: ring, money.

 

This is pretty much a Roma thing, as far as I can tell.  In Paris, you should especially watch for this one on the bridges over the Seine–why, I have no clue.

The friendship bracelet

bracelet_scam
This lady made the mistake of being polite to the guy and not ignoring him and walking off–now she’s been snagged. Picture source: https://www.corporatetravelsafety.com/safety-tips/watch-out-for-the-infamous-paris-string-scam/.

The basic principle of this is that you are offered a free friendship bracelet by a friendly guy.  In fact, you don’t even have to accept it–he’ll just grab your hand and start putting it on you, if you don’t avoid him well.  Once it’s on you, it’s no longer free, and he demands a lot of money for it.  Part of what makes this work is that the guy uses the bracelet as a handle to keep you physically under control–in the best (for him)/worst (for you) case, by using your finger to make the thing for you (see below).  This is almost entirely a West African thing, and the hotbed is the steps of the Sacré Coeur basilica.  Why?  I have no idea.

The shell game

Make no mistake: the people who are doing the things that I’m describing on this page are scumbags.  They steal–they just mostly don’t use violence to do it.  In the case of the shell game (and its card-based relative, known as 3-card Monte in English) though, I have to admit that I find it somewhat difficult to feel as much empathy for the victims as I usually do.  This is despite the fact if you fall for this one, you are probably going to lose much, much more money to this con than you would to anything else on this page.  More on that in a minute.

Hieronymus_Bosch_051 shell game
Hieronymus Bosch’s painting “The Conjurer,” painted between 1475 and 1480. Notice that the guy on the left in white with a black top is stealing the purse of the guy who’s watching closely. Picture source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hieronymus_Bosch_051.jpg.

The basic idea here is that the guy running the con has three cups.  He’ll put something under one of them, move the three cups around, and then give free money to anyone who can guess which cup it’s under.  It’s easy–you see the guy just giving money away.  He gets you to put up some of your own money.  You do, and all of a sudden you guess wrong.  I watched a guy doing this a couple weeks ago–he was trying to get people to put up 100 euros.

The reason that I find it harder to empathize with people who get caught by this one than with people who fall for the other cons that I describe on this page is this: people have been pulling this shit for over 2,000 years.  The shell game existed in Ancient Greece.  It was already all over Europe in the Middle Ages.  How can people not have heard of this??  I have no clue.

This is mostly a Roma thing, although I saw what appeared to be a South Asian guy doing it once.  I’ve often seen it in Paris in the near surroundings of the Eiffel Tower–mostly on the Iena Bridge, and I don’t remember seeing it anywhere else.  I have to say that this is the rarest of the Paris hustles–it requires a fair amount of set-up, and a number of confederates (when I was watching the other night, there were four adult males involved, one of whom was pretending to be a stranger playing the game, and the other two of which were hanging around discreetly nearby and watching–if you get pissed and try to take your money back from the guy, good luck duking it out with four adult males at the same time).  It’s also super, super illegal, so although the potential benefits to the crooks are large, the potential costs are, too.

The fake petition

petition-3
A pretty young girl who looks like pretty much every pretty young girl I’ve ever seen doing this hustle in Paris. Picture source: https://www.corporatetravelsafety.com/safety-tips/deaf-mute-scams-in-europe/.

The basic idea: a pretty girl asks you to sign a petition.  For no reason that I understand, it’s typically about better treatment for the deaf, and indeed, she pretends to be deaf.  Once you’ve signed, you’re pressured to donate some money for the cause.  She’s not deaf, nor are the other pretty girls who are with her with their own identical petitions, nor are the other pretty girls who you’ll see in other parts of Paris with their identical petitions on the same day.  In a variant of the usual approach, while you’re signing the petition, someone is picking your pocket.  This is mostly a Roma thing, and it’s common in front of Notre Dame and the surrounding areas, as well as the Hôtel de Ville.

The fake deaf-mute

This one happens on the local trains.  A guy gets on board and walks up and down the train leaving little printed notes on the empty seats, explaining that he is deaf/mute/whatever, and do you have a little spare change?  These guys are actually the least objectionable of all of the folks who I describe on this page–they don’t pester you.  I saw a variant of this in Slovenia last week–the guy went through restaurants, leaving his little cards (trilingual–Slovenian, Italian, and German) on the tables, with a couple little trinkets that you were invited to buy.

The free flower/rosemary/herb of some variety or another

This is a variety of the here’s-something-free-that-suddenly-isn’t-free-anymore scam.  I haven’t actually seen it in France, but I include it for completeness.  In the Spanish version, it’s a little old lady on the steps of a church.  If you don’t give her money, you are threatened with a Roma curse.  (I actually find this somewhat charming–who gets cursed anymore?)  I ran into a wonderful version involving an attractive woman in an extremely short dress in Turkey.  Wonderful mostly not in that there was an attractive woman involved, but in that I was able to participate in the ensuing mess with only as much knowledge of Turkish as you get from the Pimsleur course:

Click on the picture if you can't read it clearly.
My little adventure with a “free flower” lady in Istanbul.  Click on the picture if you can’t see it clearly–it’ll get bigger.

 

There are indeed lots of guys wandering through the restaurants in tourist areas trying to sell you roses in Paris, but there’s no deception involved (at least, not that I’ve experienced, and I did double-check this with a local), and they’re typically not pushy (pushiness being an identifying feature of hustling in its bad sense–see above)–it’s not really a hustle (in the bad way), per se.  I would call it the good kind of hustle–see a later post on the subject.

Videos of these folks in action

Here are some videos of these folks in action.  I didn’t shoot these–more on why you shouldn’t try to, either, below.  This is all stuff that I found on YouTube.

First, some pretty good footage of the friendship bracelet thing, shot in Italy.  I haven’t seen the shoulder thing in France, but the principle is similar–the guy does whatever he can to establish a situation such that you are physically in possession of the bracelet.  Other interesting points: notice the repeated use of a question that the guys know you’ve been answering automatically several times a day, and that it feels rude not to respond to: where are you from?  It’s also a question that lets the guy quickly establish some sort of rapport with you.  Another cute thing about this: notice the guy who keeps saying waka waka?  That’s not a Sesame Street thing–it’s Cameroonian English (Cameroon is a country in West Africa with two official languages: French, and English.)  It’s an exhortation–literally, it means something like “walk while working.”  You can hear it in Shakira’s theme song for the 2010 soccer (football, sorry) World Cup.

There’s a lot of dead footage in the beginning of this next video, but right about at the middle there’s some great footage of an attempt to snatch someone’s bags as they’re boarding the subway.  It’s a good view of how proximity to the door of a metro car is used to snatch stuff.  Atypically, these young ladies were unsuccessful, but you get the picture of how it works.

 Don’t try to film these guys in action

Don’t try to film any of this shit!  I think it’s great that people can get footage of this kind of shitty behavior and then post it on YouTube for the edification of the rest of us, but photographing or shooting video of a criminal in action is an excellent way to get punched a couple times and to have your expensive cell phone stolen.  Déconseillé, as we say in these parts.

Final words: don’t berate yourself, don’t be scared, don’t let it ruin your vacation, and don’t feel obliged to be polite to these folks

If you get snagged by the evil kind of hustler, it’s really easy to berate yourself afterwards for being a fool, a sucker.  Don’t.  Unless you go for the shell game, you’re not–these people are pros, they make their living this way. This kind of incident can really sour you on wherever you happen to be, too, and really cast a cloud over your trip.  Don’t let that happen!  These people are the tiniest, tiniest, tiniest, tiniest fraction of the people you’ll meet, and they’re pretty unlikely to be Parisians, or even French.  Plus, unless you fall for the shell game thing, these guys don’t actually take that much money off of you, and there are far, far more expensive hustles being worked in China and Turkey right now.  It’s also worth pointing out that there is very little violent crime in this country.  In America, you can get shot to death in a road rage incident pretty much any day of your life–it’s just a fact of life in our gun-cursed country.  In France, you might get robbed, but the chances of your being physically attacked if you’re not visibly Jewish are very, very low (and even if you are visibly Jewish, your chances of being physically attacked are still pretty low).  So, use some common sense, be aware that all you have to do is ignore these people, or in the case of a friendship bracelet guy handing you something, feel free to drop it on the ground and walk off without a word.  The truth is, these people are trying to rip you off, and you do not owe them one single tiny bit of the typical American friendly politeness to strangers.  You should also realize that there are plenty of people out there on the streets of Paris trying to make a living via the good meaning of “hustle”–just getting out there and working long hours in all kinds of weather, perhaps not totally within the law, but not hurting anyone, either.  We’ll talk about those in another post.

  • un tour de passe-passe: one French expression for the shell game–can native speakers help me with others?
  • l’arnaque (n.f.): rip-off, swindle, fraud, con.
  • arnaquer qqn: to rip off, swindle, or con someone.
  • c’est de l’arnaque: that’s highway robbery!
  • se faire arnaquer: to get ripped off, to be had.

How to flunk your rotation in informatics: insights from burrowing mammals

Trigger warning: this post contains graphic descriptions of Talpidae-phobic violence.  Sorry, no French language stuff here–come back tomorrow (or so) for our usual exploration of the implications of the statistical properties of language for second-language learners.

Woodchuck scat
Woodchuck poo. If you’d like to know how woodchuck poo can be relevant to your career in informatics, read on. Picture source: http://www.harpercollege.edu/ls-hs/bio/dept/guide/gallery/evidence/scat/original/Woodchuck_Scat.jpg.

Here’s some advice on how to flunk your rotation in informatics.  I’ve written this with details that are specific to my particular field–natural language processing–but the broader ideas apply to informatics in general, to dissertation-writing in most academic fields that I can think of, and outside of academia, to software development jobs, to grant-writing, or to almost anything with a deadline at which you will be evaluated at some point.  Following this advice won’t guarantee that you’ll flunk your rotation, but not following it is an excellent way to improve your chances of passing.

Be afraid to ask questions

This is the biggie.  Afraid that people will think you’re stupid if you ask questions?  Don’t be–they’ll definitely think that you’re stupid if you don’t, and then don’t figure stuff out some other way.  The absolute best students I’ve known were two people who had weekly appointments with me while they were doing their studies, specifically to ask questions.  One of them is a rapidly rising star at a government research institute now, and the other is running a bioinformatics program.  If you can’t get over your fear of asking questions, your chances of professional success are low.  (I don’t mean to imply that I’m any good at answering questions–but, something about the nature of that interchange seems to have made some sort of contribution to their educations.)

Don’t make a schedule

As soon as you figure out what you’re doing for your project, don’t do what we do in the military—if you want to flunk your rotation.  What we do in the military: write down a list of every step that has to be accomplished to get from where you are now to where you need to be at the end of the rotation.  Are you going to think of everything?  No–but, you’re going to think of most things.  Don’t obsess about that.

Now put the due date by the last thing in your list of things that have to be done.  Work backwards, estimating the time by which you will hit each of the preceding steps.

Now ask a question: is the date by which you would need to have started in order to get done on time already past?  If so: go back to your advisor, because you need to modify your project–nowIf not: great!  So far, you’re on track!

A good way to flunk your rotation is to not have any way to estimate whether or not you’re on schedule to finish on time. If you don’t want to flunk your rotation: make a realistic schedule that lists everything that you have to do, and by when each step needs to be finished. (See the sidebar for one way to do this.) Go back to your timeline frequently, and make sure that you’re on track to finish by the due date.  If you’re not on track: figure out what you need to do differently to get back on schedule.  If you are on track: great!  Part of the beauty of working out your timeline early is that you find out quickly if you’re falling behind, but to my mind, the real beauty of working out your timeline is that if you see that you’re on schedule, you have a license not to be anxious.  No point in sweating if you’re on track to finish on time at the moment.  Schedules can be anxiety-inducing if you fall behind, but that’s OK–if you’re falling behind, you want to figure that out now, not a month from now.  The thing is, schedules can also be reassuring–if you know that you’re not behind, then there is no reason at all to lie awake at night worrying.

Don’t establish immediately that there’s data available on which to test your system

This is the number-one informatics-specific rookie mistake.  (The being-afraid-to-ask-questions thing is an indiscriminate killer of everyone.)  Suppose that your rotation project is to build a system that whacks moles. (English note: the verb to whack means “to strike with a smart or resounding blow.” (Source: Merriam-Webster.) It can also mean “to kill,” especially when talking about organized crime.) You’re going to want to demonstrate that it does, in fact, whack moles: if you can’t actually get your hands on any moles, you’re going to be asking the faculty to just take your word for it that this would be a really, really great mole-whacker, and that’s not likely to happen.  If you find out two weeks before your rotation ends/your conference submission deadline/your grant submission deadline that there’s no data available with which to test your interesting hypothesis, it’s probably game over–come back next semester/next year/next shift in national scientific priorities and try again.  On the other hand, if you realize very quickly that there’s this interesting hypothesis but no existing data with which to test it, and then you propose a way to create the data and an associated evaluation methodology, that’s an excellent approach to doing a rotation/writing a paper/getting a grant.  You can use the data to test your hypothesis in the next rotation/paper/grant proposal, and you’ll be the first one to do so (important in academia), ’cause there was never any data around that would have let anyone do the experiment before.

Neil Sarkar, the Founding Director of Brown University’s Brown Center for Biomedical Informatics, makes a related point that is crucial for people doing rotations in biomedical informatics: “One thing to also consider is importance of knowing when an Institutional Review Board protocol must be filed… And not trying to evade the process of getting Institutional Review Board approval…”  It’s important to think about this up front, and if you need this kind of institutional approval, you want to ask for it early, because these things can take an amazing amount of time just to prepare the request, and then you have to wait through the approval process, too.

An aside: I’m guessing that all of you non-informatics people out there are thinking that I’m just making things up with this whole issue of mole availability or lack thereof–click here for the search page of Jackson Labs, which exists in large part to connect researchers with mice that have very specific genetic characteristics needed for an incredible variety of experimental investigations.  You say that you need some Chinese hamster ovary cells?  I ask: what kind?  Click here for the CHO-K1 line.  575 euros.  They’re super-important in research on therapeutic recombinant proteins. You say you’re a surgeon who does kidney transplants, and you want to do a better job of getting kidneys to survive between when you take them out of the recently-departed and put them into the recipient?  You need to understand metabolism at low temperatures.  You say you want to understand metabolism at low temperatures?  You need to understand hibernation.  You say you want to understand hibernation?  You need a lab full of arctic ground squirrels.  How does a surgeon who does kidney transplants get their hands on a bunch of arctic ground squirrels?  Go to the Arctic Circle (during the summer, obviously, ’cause they hibernate in the winter) with a bunch of carrots–see here for an article about how fun this is (warning: graphic picture of an arctic ground squirrel on an anesthesia machine), here for how to figure out where to put your traps, and here for details on things like the trade-offs associated with large traps versus small traps, the relative effectiveness of selective site trapping versus grid trapping, how to use a girth hitch sling to allow a single person to handle an arctic ground squirrel alone, and some stuff about toe amputation that we don’t need to go into.  This undoubtedly sounds like a lot of work, and it is.  It could be worse, though–if what your research requires is woodchucks (useful for the study of a particular kind of liver cancer called hepadnavirus-associated hepatocellular carcinoma), you may have to raise them in the lab yourself.  This is a huge big deal if you’ve got a deadline, because they only breed in March and April, and then they’re pregnant for a month, and then they don’t actually have very large litters after all of that.  Now, if you’re reading this, you probably are studying some forms of informatics, and thinking: this guy’s full of shit–I don’t need no stinking woodchucks.  But, keep in mind that long time-lags are common in informatics research. For example, the CRAFT corpus took over three years to build, and PropBank has been growing for well over a decade.  Data is precious, and sometimes it’s expensive, and it’s not always there when you need it–unlike Chinese hamster ovary cells, it’s often not possible to just go to a web site and buy what you need.  So, if you don’t want to find yourself doing the informatics equivalent of scooping the woodchuck litter boxes while the rest of your classmates are giving triumphant rotation talks, the question of availability of data for testing your system has to be the very first thing that you resolve after you walk out of your new rotation supervisor’s office to go sit in your carrel with a warm feeling in your heart and visions of an endowed professorship at Stanford.  Let me repeat the word available–the fact that your medical school has 10 petabytes of electronic health records with all of the data that you need in them does you no good whatsoever if you can’t get access to them.

Don’t establish scoring criteria up front

You want to have a conversation with your rotation supervisor very early in the process about what will constitute success.  Suppose that your project is to build a system that whacks moles.  What does it mean to have built a system that whacks moles?  Does it have to be a successful system, or can it just exist?  If it has to be successful: what does “successful” mean?  Does it have to kill the moles, or is it OK to just tap them on the head?  Maybe it’s actually preferable to just tap them on the head?  If you don’t ask, you won’t know.  Does it have to whack every mole, or is it OK if it focusses on whacking the moles that smell bad?  If it whacks one mole one time, does that satisfy the requirements of the mole-whacking-system-building project, or does it need to continue whacking moles unto eternity, and if so, what are the requirements regarding the ability of the system to continue whacking moles when the zombie apocalypse comes and there is no more electricity?  If it misses 1 mole out of 10, would that still constitute mole-whacking?  What about if it misses 5 moles out of 10?  Suppose that what’s really wanted is a system that whacks every mole, every time, exactly on the top of the head, with uniformly fatal results, all the way through the zombie apocalypse until the spirit of cooperation, mutual assistance, and recognition that we are all connected in a web of interdependence restores humanity to its rightful zombie-free position on the planet–but, although your system is only catching 50% of the moles and sometimes it punches them in the stomach instead of whacking them on the head, and you don’t really have a good plan for the whole what-happens-when-there’s-no-more-electricity thing, but in the process of building the system, you’ve come across a really novel approach to thinking about mole-whacking that is likely to yield real insight into the nature of moles, the nature of whacking, and how to think about speciesist violence in terms of a general framework with applicability to subterranean mammals as a whole, and possibly also some of the smaller lizards–but, not until a couple months after your project is over and grades are submitted.  This might seem persnickety, but I have most definitely seen the situation where the student (or software engineer, or grant writer, or whatever) thought that they were supposed to be whacking moles in the sense of small fossorial mammals, but what their rotation supervisor was looking for was a system that whacks moles in the sense of a spy who has integrated themself into an organization, and those situations most definitely did not end in a way that led to the student feeling happy.  (See above for how you can use fear of asking questions about things like this to increase the chances of flunking your rotation.)

A pithier version of the preceding, very long paragraph: the great suicidologist Ed Shneidman used to say that “the most dangerous four-letter word in the English language is only.”  (If you’re not a native speaker of English: a “four-letter word” is an idiom meaning a curse word–fuck, shit, piss, etc.)  The biggest warning sign of an impending rotation-failure (or comprehensive exam, or missed grant deadline, or whatever) is the word something in your topic.  If your description of your topic is I’m going to do something with mole-whacking/semantic role labelling/protein structure prediction, then you still have major gaps in your conception of the project, and you have no idea what will constitute success–or a failing grade, either.  Seriously: sounds simplistic, but the presence of the word something is a strong diagnostic.

Spend a lot of time obsessing about minor details early in the process

Have you been tasked with building a mole-whacker?  Put a lot of time into thinking about moles with bad breath, moles with nice breath, and moles that would be really cute if only they did something about their taste in Restoration essayists.  Are you going to build a system that does deep analysis of subtle differences between different kinds of change-of-state verbs?  Spend a lot of time thinking about how you’re going to detect the ends of sentences.  (If you’re not a language processing person: getting a computer program to recognize the ends of sentences is a lot harder than you might be thinking.  But, it’s not super-crucial to the bigger problem of deep analysis of subtle differences between different kinds of change-of-state verbs.)  If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt from spending a lot of time around French people, it’s that minor details are important.  But, you need to have the big picture in your mind all the time, and if you have a 10-week rotation and you spend two weeks of that time thinking about how to do a perfect job of finding the ends of sentences, then you have reduced your chances of successfully completing your project quite a bit, unless it’s about improving the ability of computer programs to find the ends of sentences.  (If you’re not a language processing person and you think that I’m just making this shit up: click here for a paper on the role of finding the ends of sentences in the task of finding bacteria habitats, or here for a paper on event response potentials as they relate to prospective and retrospective processes at sentence boundaries, or here for a paper on why you need a support vector machine with a linear kernel (or so the authors claim) to tell the difference between a period at the end of an abbreviation and a period at the end of a sentence in clinical documents (health records).)

Don’t differentiate between aspects of the approach that do and don’t test your hypothesis

By now you might accept that it’s important not to spend a lot of time obsessing about minor details early in the process.  But: how do you know what makes something a “minor detail”?  Minor details are things that have very little to do with actually testing your hypothesis.  Now, you’re thinking: I’ve discussed what counts as success with my rotation supervisor, and we reached the consensus that analyzing subtle details of different kinds of change-of-state verbs means reaching an F-measure of 0.80 on the Semantics Evaluation Conference Official Subtly Different Change-Of-State Verb Test Set.  What if I pick the wrong find-the-ends-of-sentences system, and that reduces my performance to 0.79, when it could have been 0.81 if only I’d picked the right find-the-ends-of-sentences system?  In that case, I would suggest that you renegotiate what you’re doing with your rotation supervisor.  The question with which you would start the conversation: what’s interesting about getting an F-measure of 0.80 versus 0.79?  How would that change our knowledge of the world, or software for analyzing subtle differences in the various and sundry kinds of change-of-state verbs, or moles, or whatever?  Can we frame the project in terms of a question of some sort that might have broader implications for how one might approach this kind of task in the future, such that my career doesn’t succeed or fail on the basis of whether or not I’m good at finding the ends of sentences?

Don’t have a hypothesis

If you would like to flunk your rotation, it’s helpful to not have a hypothesis.  If you don’t have a hypothesis, then you’re less likely to know whether or not you’ve tested anything, which means that neither you nor the faculty who will be grading your rotation project will know whether or not you finished your rotation project.  That’s not a guaranteed way to flunk your rotation–you’ll leave the faculty in the position of guessing whether or not you finished it, and maybe they’ll guess that you did–but, it’s a pretty good one.

Don’t know why you’re doing your project

On some level, you always know why you’re doing your project–you’re doing it because your advisor thinks that it would be a good idea.  But, why?  Let’s step back a bit.  Suppose that you have a hypothesis in hand.  From a practical perspective, you care about knowing why you’re investigating that particular hypothesis out of a universe of possible hypotheses because if you know why you’re investigating that particular hypothesis, you’re more likely to do a good job of investigating it, or so I assert.  Some reasons that I assert that: we discussed above the importance of being able to differentiate between things that take up a lot of time but don’t actually test the hypothesis and things that do contribute to testing the hypothesis.  In fact, if you know why you’re testing the hypothesis, then you might realize (hopefully early in the process) that your specific hypothesis isn’t actually going to contribute very much to achieving whatever it is that was your rotation advisor’s motivation for suggesting the project in the first place.  That’s the practical reason.  There’s a more general reason, too: you’re a graduate student.  You want to get a graduate degree.  In most fields, we give people graduate degrees when they have contributed some significant piece of knowledge to the stock of what we know.  You can certainly contribute pieces of knowledge to the stock of what we know without having any kind of broader conceptual framework (say, a theory) for understanding why those pieces of knowledge would be relevant to someone somewhere, but it’s harder to contribute a significant piece of knowledge to what we know without some kind of broader conceptual framework.  It’s that broader conceptual framework that establishes the context that defines your piece of knowledge as significant or not; your piece of knowledge consists, in some sense, of whether or not your results are consistent with your hypothesis; your hypothesis is more likely to be a useful hypothesis if you know why you’re evaluating it.  There has been far more written about what makes a hypothesis a useful hypothesis (or not) than I will ever understand before I retire, but it’s worth your while to check out at least some of it.  You can find relevant stuff in epistemology, or in philosophy of science, or in statistics–there’s something for every taste.

The epistemology of flunking rotations: Where I got all of this stuff

Some of this stuff comes from my own experience of flunking things–I left graduate school feeling like I knew a lot more about how to not get a PhD than I did about how to get one.  I asked a number of people who teach in graduate programs of computer science, medical informatics, bioinformatics, and linguistics to look at the post, and incorporated their comments.  The rest comes from years of watching people flunk rotations, as well as flunk master’s thesis defenses, comprehensive exams, prelims…  Also watching people miss deadlines for conference submissions, grant submissions, software releases–and I’ve missed more than one of those myself.  Learn from my mistakes–it’s a hell of a lot less painful than learning from your own!

The picture at the top of this post shows a hibernating arctic ground squirrel in the gloved hands of a researcher. It comes from https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/arctic-squirrel-hibernation-recycle-nitrogen-b1767464.html.

Paris’s begging ecosystem

There are entire genres of begging in Paris, some unique to this city.

toblerone-hero
Picture source: https://mcfarlandcampbell.co.uk/tag/toblerone/

One evening I was on the RER (a regional train) on the way home from work when a woman of indeterminate age got on.  She was eating a Toblerone.  Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, she said loudly.  (If it’s in italics, it happened in French.)  Could you give me some change, perhaps a euro?  She pulled out another Toblerone and examined it closely, turning it from side to side.  Sometimes I lure a man into a parking lot, and I bite him.  She put it slowly into her mouth.  Sometimes in Cameroon, I would eat a man.  Another Toblerone, which she chewed on meditatively.

By this point, I was seriously questioning my ability to understand spoken French.  I looked at my French coworker who happened to be sharing the train with me.  Did she just say…  Yep, he answered.  Parisians most definitely do not speak to strangers on trains, but this time a young woman sitting next to him joined in: “She says she eats men.”  (It’s pretty easy to tell that I’m not French, and she spoke English.)  The lady examined another Toblerone before putting it in her mouth.  I’m hungry.  If you have some money, some spare change… 

This was a very strange little speech to hear, and the whole box-of-Toblerone thing added a certain hallucinatory element to the experience.  But, in a Parisian context, it made a certain amount of sense.  Visitors to Paris usually notice pretty quickly that there are a lot of beggars here.  We talked in a previous post about why there are so many beggars here, and there are perfectly good reasons for it.  Although there are a lot of folks who are out there asking for money in this town, they actually fall into a finite number of classes, at least one of which is specific to Paris, and the cannibalistic Toblerone eater was an instance of one of them.  Here in France we love to classify things, so let’s run through the categories.  Beyond the intrinsic interest of the facts that there are categories at all and the nature of the categories themselves, it’s interesting to think about how the various and sundry categories manage to live together in an ecosystem of sorts–different kinds of beggars fill different niches in the city.

Métro: You will occasionally see someone–usually a man–get onto a métro car or a regional train and ask for money.  There’s a set ritual for this.  Basically, the guy makes a speech.  It tends to follow a specific pattern.

  1. Apology: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to disturb you during your trip.
  2. Statement of problems to be solved: I am homeless/jobless/I have four children and a sick wife and need a hotel room/money for food/diapers.
  3. Request: If you have some spare coins/restaurant tickets/a euro or two…

and then they walk through the car with a paper cup or with their hand out.  These guys don’t necessarily make much in a single car, but they typically do make something–more if they’re old, less if they’re young and look like they could be working for a living like the rest of us.  Then it’s off of that car and on to the next one.  In the light of the existence of this genre of begging, the Toblerone lady makes a certain amount of sense, and you have to give her credit for originality (or for insanity–I’m actually betting on the latter).

roma woman begging champs elysee
Roma woman begging on the Champs Elysée. Picture source: http://flickrhivemind.net/Tags/beggar,paris/Interesting.

Eastern European Roma women on the Champs Elysées: There’s a genre of begging which until recently I’d only ever seen in Eastern European countries.  The way it works is that the beggar kneels on the bare sidewalk with his head on the concrete and his cupped hands held out to receive alms.  It looks really, really painful.  For the past couple years, I’ve seen Roma women doing this on the Champs Elysée.  Only Roma women so far, and only on the Champs Elysées so far.  Why them, and why there?  I have no idea.  Clearly, they’re Eastern European, but there are lots of Eastern Europeans in Paris, and I’ve yet to see any others begging like this.  Occasionally the police will come by and roust them.  They pick up their water bottles (this is, after all, 2016) and move on, then return later.

Disabled: One day this past winter I was on the metro on the way to work.  I was bundled up like everyone else in Paris, as it was cold–hat, leather jacket, neck warmer (I still haven’t been here long enough to wear a scarf), gloves.  Into the car climbed a guy in short-shorts.  His legs were these skinny, twisted things–maybe as big around as my forearm, and oddly bent.  He didn’t say a word to anyone–just struggled down the aisle with his hand out.  For a year or so, there was a guy sitting on the ground outside my metro station all day–no feet.  There’s a kid (I say “kid”–I would guess that he’s in his twenties) who has a spot outside the grocery store.  He sits there, silent, his head hanging, with a paper cup in front of him.  I’m pretty sure that he’s schizophrenic.

With kids: An Eastern European friend taught me that there’s a special place in hell for people who abuse their kids by using them for begging when they should be in school.  As far as I can tell, it’s mostly a Roma thing in Paris.  You park your family on the sidewalk under a blanket, children prominently displayed, and hold your hand out to passersby.  You occasionally also see Roma women with a baby panhandling–be especially careful, as some of them do a trick such that they only appear to be holding a baby, as it’s actually supported by a sling.  That’s the hand that picks your pocket.  (Let me point out that the vast majority of these ladies are just begging–but, the pocket-picking thing does happen, too.)

IMG_4126
Parisian beggar with dogs. Picture source: http://www.newsner.com/en/2015/11/12-dogs-that-love-their-owners-no-matter-how-little-money-they-have/.

With animals to pet:  You’ll see a lot of people with an animal or two on their lap.  Drop some money in their cup and give doggie/kittie/bunny a scratch, if you feel like it.  Most weeks petting beggars’ dogs and cats is my only physical contact with another living being, so a lot of my change goes into these folks’ cups.  One of my favorite guys is usually in the Latin Quarter on weekend nights.  He has these two little spaniel mixes, and it’s clear that he adores them and they adore him.  The last time I saw him, I leaned over to drop a coin in his cup and pet the dogs.  It’s Orthodox Easter tomorrow, you know, he said.  (If it’s in italics, it happened in French.)  Really?, I asked.  Yeah, Easter–Orthodox Easter.  Cabbage, I said.  Have a good night.  (My French continues to suck.)  I still haven’t figured out why we had that particular conversation, other than the possibility that the next day might actually have been Orthodox Easter.  Lately I’ve been noticing shiftless young people with ill-kempt animals trying to do the pet-my-animal thing.  Their animals look like shit–not loved or cared for at all.  You can tell the difference, I think.  Note: be sure that the animal is there to be petted before you try to pet it!  This sounds obvious, and I guess that it would be to any non-stupid person.  However: I bent over to pet a kid’s pit-bull-looking dog one day without checking him out first, and he snapped at me.  I had no clue whatsoever that I was capable of jumping that far that fast–backwards, no less.  Obviously, if this dog had felt like ripping my arm off, he could have–he just gave me a little warning.  Learn from my stupidity.

Finally, there are plenty of run-of-the-mill beggars.  If they’re young, people mostly walk right by them, because there are plenty of frail old run-of-the-mill beggars that probably need your money even more.

Now, I’m not talking here about people who hustle–“hustle” in the good sense, or “hustle” in the bad sense.  With the exception of the people with animals, the people that I’m describing here are straight-up beggars.  Street musicians, mimes, comedians, dancers–that’s a whole nother genre.  Pick-pockets, 3-card monte, the ring scam, the bracelet scam–that’s yet another genre, and they each have their niches in the hustling ecosystem of Paris.


English notes

Short-shorts: very, very short pants.  Line from an advertisement for Nair, a leg-hair remover: Who wears short-shorts?  Nair wears short-shorts.  How it was used in the post: One day this past winter I was on the metro on the way to work.  I was bundled up like everyone else in Paris, as it was cold–hat, leather jacket, neck warmer (I still haven’t been here long enough to wear a scarf), gloves.  Into the car climbed a guy in short-shorts.  

bunny: an informal/children’s word for rabbit.  On my first visit to Belgium, I knew just barely enough French to order a meal in a restaurant.  Seeing a meat on the menu whose name I didn’t recognize, and being an adventurous eater, I ordered it.  It being pre-Internet, I had to ask a coworker the next day what I had had for dinner.  His response (in English): You ‘ave eaten, ‘ow you say… Bugs Bunny.  How it was used in the post: You’ll see a lot of people with an animal or two on their lap.  Drop some money in their cup and give doggie/kittie/bunny a scratch, if you feel like it.  


French notes

Cameroun: Cameroon.  Pronunciation: the is silent, so [kamrun].

Roma: there are many ways to say “gypsy” in French.  In part, I know this because my favorite neighborhood bum gave me a lecture on the topic one day, with statistics.  I have very little clue as to the current social acceptability of any of them; as far as I know, Roma or Rom is OK (just as it is in the US, where the word gypsy is definitely not OK in all circles), but I’m pretty sure that all of the others have varying levels of pejorativeness.  How it was used in the post: For the past couple years, I’ve seen Roma women doing this on the Champs Elysée.  Only Roma women so far, and only on the Champs Elysées so far.  

Losing face: what cows, dogs, and Neanderthals can tell you about why you have wisdom teeth

The story of wisdom teeth is as interesting as wisdom teeth are unpleasant.

One of the characteristics of the modern human skull is that the face is located primarily under the eyes.  What the hell does that mean?  For comparison, let’s look at some not-terribly-exotic animals. We’ll start with a nice side view of a cow.

cow-head-closeup-side-profile-9289987
Side view of a cow head. Picture source: http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-profile-cow-head-image2728710.

Check out the cow’s muzzle.  Is there any sense in which you could say that the cow’s face is under its eyes?  No–the muzzle protrudes out frontally quite a bit.

In fact, by definition, a muzzle (or snout) protrudes.  From the Wikipedia post on the subject: “A snout is the protruding portion of an animal’s face, consisting of its nose, mouth, and jaw. In many animals the equivalent structure is called a muzzle, rostrum or proboscis.”

There’s quite a bit of variety in muzzle (snout) shapes in the animal kingdom.  Here are some possibilities in dogs.  Mouse-over the pictures for technical terms that describe these different skull shapes.

If we look at various and sundry apes, we see that they have protruding muzzles (or snouts), as well.  (Scroll down past the pictures.)  Compare the human, the chimp, the orangutan, and the macaque, and you’ll note that the three non-humans have protruding muzzles.  The human: no.  (BTW: I don’t think that the macaque is an ape.)

primate_skull_series_with_legend_cropped
Human, chimp, orangutan, and macaque skulls. I don’t think the macaque is an ape, unlike the other three. Picture source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Primate_skull_series_with_legend_cropped.png.
220px-msu_v2p1a_-_vulpes2c_nyctereutes2c_cuon_26_canis_skulls
Skulls of four canid species: a fox, a raccoon dog, a dhole, and a jackal. Picture source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/MSU_V2P1a_-_Vulpes%2C_Nyctereutes%2C_Cuon_%26_Canis_skulls.png/220px-MSU_V2P1a_-_Vulpes%2C_Nyctereutes%2C_Cuon_%26_Canis_skulls.png.

We can see how this anatomy relates to the rest of the skull if we look at the skull from the underside.  Let’s go back to dogs–or dog-like things, at any rate.  Here are four different canid species.  Look at the second row from the top–that’s the underside of the skull.  The narrow thing sticking out towards the front of the skull is the palate, or roof of the mouth.  That’s the bone of the muzzle.

Where this becomes relevant to humans is that over the course of human evolution, we’ve gone from having protruding snouts to not having them. It’s hard to find a single picture that illustrates the progression, so I’ll run some individual ones by you.  Here’s an Australopithcus africanus.  Australopithecus was around from about 4 million years ago to about 2 million years ago.  They’re probably ancestral to us–if not, we share a common ancestor. Note the prominent protrusion.

australopithecus-africanus-sts5-together
Australopithecus africanus. Picture source: https://whatmissinglink.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/australopithecus-africanus-sts5-together.jpg.

 

homo erectus and modern human

Here’s a nice side-by-side of a Homo erectus skull and a modern human skull.

Homo erectus was around from about 1.9 million years ago until about 70,000 years ago.  It’s probably an ancestral species to modern humans.  The frontal protrusion is nothing like the australopithecine one, but it’s still there.  (Keep scrolling down–alignment problems…)

 

Sapiens_neanderthal_comparison
Side-by-side modern human skull and Neanderthal skull from the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Picture source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sapiens_neanderthal_comparison.jpg.

Neanderthals were around from maybe 250,000 years ago until about 40,000 years ago.  I’m not clear on the arguments as to whether or not they’re ancestral to modern humans, but we probably inbred with them.  Not much protrusion left, at this point.

So, how does this relate to the question of why you have wisdom teeth?  The thought is that as the muzzle of early hominids shortened down to what we (don’t) have today, it resulted in a crowding of the teeth into a smaller anterior-posterior (front to back) area.

Do we get anything out of all of this change in oral anatomy?  Actually, modern humans do have a fairly unique oral cavity morphology (shape, in this sense of the word morphology).  One of the results of that morphology is a lot more space in which to make different kinds of sounds, and those possibilities do indeed get exploited in the languages of the world.  More on that another time.  Until then, here’s some relevant French vocabulary.

  • le museau: muzzle, snout
  • le groin: pig snout
  • le boutoir: wild boar snout
  • la dent de sagesse: wisdom tooth

By the way: if you’re interested in this kind of thing, it’s worth checking out both the English-language Wikipedia page on wisdom teeth and the French-language Wikipedia page on wisdom teeth.  Each one has interesting content that the other one doesn’t.

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